“Madam, we would like to give you a new contract that you have to sign in. The house that you currently reside in will be shared by other person” said the property manager.
She could not believe what she heard, “Wait a minute, didn’t I buy this house already? I did make a full payment upfront. I own this house and I live here” she exclaimed.
“That is true, we understand that this house indeed belongs to you. However, after careful consideration, we realize that we could simply make more profit by reselling this house to another prospective home owner. We also thought that by bringing new owner this house will be better taken care of”.
“How could that be possible? I took a good care of this house. I repainted the wall when the colour seemed to fade. I changed the tiles when I found they were not shining and perfect anymore. Even I chose special stained glasses for the windows… it is real maintenance and efforts I did here. And this house takes care of me too, from the strong wind and cold rains. This is my only shelter in the hot sunny days. It gives me warmth in the freezing dark nights. I think I fall in love with this house, and I can’t afford to lose it” she started sobbing, tears spilled on her cheeks.
“Don’t be too emotional, madam. You don’t lose this house, oh well, at least not yet. You simply share this house with the other owner. The arrangement would be like this: you stay here for a day, and the next day you should leave as the other owner will come to use this house to stay. In the following day you could come back again, and then leave in the day after. This will continue for the rest of your life. It is quite simple and fair arrangement for both of you, isn’t it?” said the property manager, in mischievous smile.
“Did you know, here I live for years already. When this house is broken, I fix and repair it. Even little damage, I wouldn’t allow it to my sweet little house. It took me so much time and money to take care of it, and you see what I get in return… this house gives me so much security, peace and love. It is very beautiful place to live, and I can’t share it with others. No one can take care of this house better than I do. This is my home where I seek comfort and protection. No, I don’t want to leave this house, not even for a day” she cried.
“No mom, you need to understand this. There are still many people who do not have a house yet, so you have to share this house with others” he said.
“Oh don’t sell me that crap. I know there are many empty houses out there. So many empty lots, why can’t they build one? Why do they need to take mine? And where else could I stay?”
“Well, you can stay in park or in the street. Or you can go to the mountain, to the forest, or you could stay in the beach. It is up to you mom, it is absolutely not my business. But I have to remind you, you cannot stay in other house, never. It is a big sin you know, because you belong to this house. You can keep the picture of this house whenever you are away from here” said the manager.
“How is it possible to happen to me? I don’t want this, this is so unfair, but you gave me no choice,” she said in despair.
“Well, you should learn to accept things like this, it is good for you. Oh, I almost forgot. If you accept this contract, you will be a beautiful angel in paradise, amazing isn’t it?” he smiled with contentment.
Unfairness, no matter how good you wrap and present it, will not be accepted by common sense. Recent uproar in Indonesia, when famous muslim preacher Abdullah Gymnastiar took a second wife, is not merely ‘emotional’ reaction. This is the result of inner conscience, when we see unfair treatment, injustice and discrimination. Our mind expresses strong disagreement and objection. And inevitably disgust, when they use religion as their mantle for protection. We know God never support unfairness.
What kind of muslim are you if you are quite willing to hurt your wife’s feeling … forever?
I am not running a theological debate on polygamy here, because each camp seems to have their own religious texts to support them. But let me show you another way, that God never let any unfairness and injustice happen. Many verses in Qur’an, as well as the example by Prophet Muhammad S.A.W., show that we shall remain fair and just in dealing with others, for Allah will unleash His wrath for those who are being unfair and transgressing the limit.
Allah orders justice, and good deeds, and giving to one’s kindred. He forbids indecency, dishonor and insolence. He admonishes you in order that you take heed. [An Nahl (16): 90]
I beg your conscience, those who still support polygamy. Polygamous marriage, by nature, is unfair. Where a woman could find strong arms for protection, strong bond for peace of mind, man’s presence for quality time, only to discover that her beloved husband is now sharing his love with another woman? What kind of marriage is it without love and faith? Love and faith are the most important elements in marriage, unless you want to have a dull and dry marriage for the rest of your life. You could have hundreds of religious texts to dictate what and how to do things in marriage. If you want to control things in marriage, you could ‘order’ and find all ulama’s opinions and judgments to give you every minutes of rules, do’s and don’ts. But you could not replace the benefit of love in marriage, the fruits of being faithful to each other, being together in good times and bad times, for the rest of your life. If you want to have marriage by the religious order, then everything is dictated by obligation, you and your spouse will have exhaustive list of duties to follow. But if you have love and faith, you almost need none. You are the sole cover of love to your spouse, and so is hers/his to you. Having a sole cover for each other means that each of you have dignified position in marriage. You will feel it when your spouse take care of you out of love.
So (almost) all women in Indonesia, and many men like me, are not acting ‘irrational’ or ‘emotional’ against polygamy. This misogynist behaviour is giving family-oriented men like us a bad name. Sorry, we are not heartless husbands. And don’t tell us we are not “faithful” enough to God. We simply follow our conscience and abide God’s command not to let injustice dwell in our houses. The ideal marriage is monogomous and being faithful to each other, in the good times and in the bad times.
Poverty Potential A Vast Factor to HIV/AIDS
HIV/AIDS is not now a problem of individual or a population, it turns into a global problem. AIDS has become the most harmful disease humankind has ever faced. Since the start of the epidemic, more than 50 million people have been infected with the HIV. Some worst effected region of sub-Saharan Africa where HIV/AIDS is now the leading cause of death. Women and young adults are heavily affected by the epidemic. They are at greater risk of infection due to physiological, anatomical and socio-economic reasons.
HIV/AIDS are devastating to the individual and the society. HIV/AIDS is not simply a medical disease but also a social one. The spread of HIV/AIDS depends on, and exposes, every weakness in society. It spreads if there is poverty, gender inequality, illiteracy, lack of public health, if women do not have reproductive rights, if the use of injection drug is high and widespread, and if illicit sexual behavior or risky-behavior becomes part of daily life.
As mention by Mr. Tarikul Islam of the ACLAB said, “The global HIV/AIDS epidemic is the greatest threat to individual, socio-economic survival that the World has ever known. Its pattern varies between countries according to mode of transmission and ability of public society to respond. The poorest are the most affected. Achieving behaviour change is difficult but vital.” Social Researcher Arif Sikder of the EC Bangladesh said, “Without major changes in behavior and an increase in knowledge about HIV/AIDS, the illness could spread rapidly among at-risk populations. Soon it could affect the general population as well.”
The behavioural reasons, on the superficial, are quite simple. The risks of sexual behaviour patterns are well predictable. Sex with multiple partners, commercial sex workers (CSWs) or Injection Drug Users (IDUs) increases the risk. The young, having immature reproductive tract lining, are especially vulnerable. Most of the time they are to face different problems. So it would be necessary to educate themselves in the light of preventive measures such as Sexually Transmitted Diseases (STD) treatment / management, promotion of use of condoms for their own benefit Leadership development is necessary among the CSWs because they are the most helpless victims of HIV/AIDS and other social oppressions.
Social Researcher Khalil-ur-Rahman Khan of Rainbow Foundation said, “The South Asian HIV/AIDS epidemic is highly dynamic. The risky behaviour, poverty, cultural-form and vulnerability, which disseminate, fuel and facilitate the rapid transmission of HIV, are present in virtually all countries of the region. Hence, the potential for its further spread is significant. The reality is behaviours that produce the highest risk of infection in this region are unprotected sex (both heterosexual and homosexual) and needle sharing among intravenous drug users.”
Bangladesh is still considered as a low HIV/AIDS prevalent country; The Behavioral Surveillance found a high prevalence of syphilis among CSWs in Bangladesh. Uncountable Street-based, residence, hotel sex workers in central Bangladesh who frequently make high-risk in general population. Furthermore, sex workers often lack of power to negotiate safe sex or seek treatment of sexually transmitted infections. The Rainbow Nari O Shishu Kallyan Foundation and ‘SHARP Samaj Kallayan Shangstha’ jointly survey in Goalondo Brothel, this study point out that almost 20% of sex workers were entered the profession after the marriage and 30% of them have children and main reason to choice such job only for poverty.
Sources: UNAIDS, ACLAB report, HUSDO
Mohammad Khairul Alam
AIDS Researcher
24/3 M. C. Roy Lane
Dhaka-1211, Bangladesh
rainbowngo@gmail.com
http://www.newsletter.com.bd
Tell: 880-2-8628908
Mobile: 01711344997
An interesting story. At first I thought you were really talking about a bad contract or something, at the end I realized you were just using it to describe polygamy. And I was like..oh! Now I get it!
One thing I know about polygamy-that I think most people just overlook-it is the fact that the idea itself came up during war times long long time ago. Where at the time, a lot of women lost their husbands at war; and as we all know, women did not have any strong position in the society back then. It was very hard for them to survive in men’s world.
So, if you look at it that way. The idea of polygamy at the time was actually perfect as a way of protecting women (if you look at the Prophet Muhammad SAW, the women he married were all widows-but Aisyah).
In fact, Muhammad himself knew how polygamy could hurt women’s feeling. That’s why His son-in-law never took a second wife.
And as you have stated We know God never support unfairness.